I Don’t Care About Yr Interview: Totally Crushed Out vs. Julie Klausner
By Ryan Pangilinan

For most people, the road to romance is often filled with heartbreak, drunken epiphanies and escapades that would make your parents blush. Author and comedienne, Julie Klausner has taken her experiences and organized them in the hilarious memoir, “I Don’t Care About Your Band: What I Learned From Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, Felons and Other Guys I’ve Dated (Gotham Books)” The book is, at times, caustic as it is funny, particularly for a male reader, but it doesn’t make it any less honest.

“I don’t think my book is about the guys I write about. It’s about me, I’m the one on the cover, I’m the one using my real name — the [exes] all have changed names — and the bread and butter of the whole piece comes along with my observations on my experiences,” said Klausner.

“I think there’s a double standard when it comes to female memoirists. How often are men who write about their sex lives asked whether they heard from the women in their books? I don’t think they are; not as much, anyway, because it’s THEIR sex lives.”

Throughout “Band,” Klausner takes a look at her core values and upbringing. In a specific bit, she recalls her early understanding of romance through Miss Piggy’s relationship with Kermit.

Another poignant moment in the earlier chapters of the book is when Klausner reconnects with an old crush and finds a division in her current life and this gentleman’s – a moment that is relatable to anyone who’s miles away from who they once were.

“I felt like the experience I had that I wrote about was a little deflating only because we didn’t really connect in the way I remember connecting to him when we were pen pals and I was 15. When we got together in person, I saw him for who he was — a stranger,” she said.

When pressed about whether someone could embody both the core of suburban ideals and be a pop culture junkie [an idea presented in said chapter], Klausner offered this little truth bomb: “It depends on what your priorities are and if you’re curious enough and whether you have a high speed internet connection or not, and what your job is, and also, if you’re one of those shitty ‘I’m going to put my kid in a punk rock t-shirt!’ kind of ‘hip’ parents, in which case, stop reading this and take your own life before I have to interact with you socially.”

As candid and inspiring as Klausner’s tome is, it can no doubt spurn ire from some of the more visible hipster archetypes who may feel like their traits are featured in, at times, a not-so-likeable light.

“[It’s] hard to take something as a personal shot when you don’t know somebody personally, and you’re reacting to an archetype or an overall piece that hits a little too close to home,” she said.

Still, Klausner says that she hasn’t received any negative comments about “I Don’t Care About Your Band” and it’s still making the rounds as a favorite amongst bloggers, comedians, readers and anybody who has a general interest in reading about relationships. 

“I’m pretty confident that my resulting observations are all grounded in reality, and therefore, hopefully, have some veracity to them. The feedback I’ve gotten speaks to that, which, again, is a nice surprise.”

Klausner’s upcoming projects and past work can be seen on her official website, while “I Don’t Care About Your Band” is available now.

[Photos taken from Julie Klausner’s site and Amazon and were photographed by Conrad Ventur]